This (see link below) is the current reality in which we are doing our anti-racism work.  Not that we didn't "know" that before, but to see it described in such detail by a respected justice-organization (Southern Poverty Law Center via Daily Kos), and to watch it happening with our own eyes, is more than a little sobering.  Our feelings that "things seem to be getting worse" are verified.  Our nation's history (both past and current) is an unswerving path of horrifying arrogance and abuse that simply shifts its target from one human group to another.  And so it continues... 

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/6/2/2101935/-Republicans-deep-radicalization-turns-up-in-SPLC-poll-that-finds-conspiracism-taste-for- violence?detail=emaildkre?pm_source=DKRE&pm_medium=email

I have struggled with depression off and on for many years.  Generally it is well-managed with three things: light meds, sunshine (the best of the three), and my own determination to continue to choose to be hopeful, despite the evidence. Even when it's hard.  I rely a lot on the kinship I feel with the people and work of the Itasca Community Action Team, the people and work of the St. Andrews Antiracism Team, others who have good minds and hearts and who use both, my Christian faith (not to be confused with faith in any institution that calls itself Christian, or with a fraudulent Christianity), and a beautiful array of the faiths/spiritualities of others.  Also, I will soon be serving on the Grand Rapids Human Rights Commission.

Merle and I, along with about 8 others, have recently been trained in nonviolent security measures and will serve as inconspicuous Security people at our upcoming first-ever Juneteenth Family Celebration in our majority white community.  The organizers have asked that police not be there in uniform, as nightsticks and guns do not help create an atmosphere of family safety and celebration.  We will handle minor things (if any), but they will be on call if, God forbid, someone gets really crazy.  Our fervent hope is that NONE of this will be necessary AT ALL.

All of which is to say something entirely predictable, I suppose.  I never expected to spend my retirement, my aging years, in a nation teetering at the edge of facism and democracy, where antiracism and peacemaking work is far more intense and necessary than the "Make love, not war" with a few big flowers painted around it of my college years.

Much can be said about this having been systemic for 200 years, brewing just below the surface with frequent eruptions; that it is nothing new especially if one is not white.  Nevertheless, we can't just throw our retired arms up in the air and insist, "Not my problem."  This is our Now.  This is the Reality of it.  There is no retiring from the work of Reformation.